How you deal with stress

No wonder you're stressed. You're doing more with fewer resources every day at work, and deadlines lurk around every corner. Then when you get home, you take out your frustrations on your family. Weekends are booked solid with household chores and errands. It's been months since you spent an evening alone with your partner.

So how do you handle it? Understanding how you currently respond to stress — for better or worse — is the foundation for successful future stress management.

Reactions to stress vary

Some people seem to take everything in stride. Their naturally laid-back attitudes shine through in every situation. Another deadline? Bring it on. You needed to be there 10 minutes ago? OK, let's go. The dishwasher is leaking? No problem, it'll be a simple repair.

Others get anxious at the first sign of trouble. They pace the floor or have difficulty concentrating on the task at hand. An interruption or change in plans may cause a stir.

Of course, these examples are extremes. Most people have stress responses that fall somewhere in the middle. When you feel confident, you're likely to take new stressors in stride. If you feel cornered or unprepared, your stress level may rise.

Look for patterns in your coping strategies

To better understand your reaction to life's stressors, consider your current coping behaviors.

• Do you tense up? Neck and shoulder muscle tension or clenched jaws or fists are often early warning signs of stress. Stress may cause an upset stomach, shortness of breath, back pain, headaches and other physical symptoms as well.
• Do you reach for something to eat? Stress and overeating are often closely related. Stress may trigger you to eat even when you're not hungry or to lose track of your meal and exercise plans.
• Do you get impatient? Perhaps you find yourself pacing the floor or twitching nervously. You might have trouble concentrating or falling asleep at night. All of these are signs of stress.
• Do you get angry? Stress leaves many people with a short fuse. When you're under pressure, you may find yourself arguing with co-workers, friends or loved ones — sometimes with little provocation or about things that have nothing to do with what's actually triggering your stress.
• Are you reduced to tears? Stress may trigger crying spells or other emotional releases.
• Do you give up? Sometimes stress may be too much to take. You might deny the issue, avoid the problem, call in sick or simply give up.
• Do you let negative thoughts take over? When you're under stress, perhaps you automatically expect the worst or magnify the negative aspects of a situation.
• Have you started to smoke again? Even if you quit smoking long ago, a cigarette may seem like an easy way to relax when you're under pressure. And smoking is a double-edged sword. Aside from the obvious health risks of smoking, nicotine acts as a stimulant — triggering even more stress symptoms.
• Do you turn to alcohol or other drugs? Stress leads some people to drink too much or engage in other risky behaviors, including drug abuse.
• Do you rely on a single coping technique? Sometimes crying, expressing your anger or isolating yourself from a problem that you can't possibly fix can serve as an effective stress management technique. The same goes for exercising, confiding in friends or other healthy coping techniques. But in the long run, you may need new ways to handle stress, too. If you find yourself using one technique all the time — or you see yourself engaging in unhealthy behaviors — it's time to open yourself up to other stress-reduction strategies.

Take the next step

Try tracking your reactions to stress over the next week. Once you identify how you cope with stressful situations, you can begin to think about alternative strategies. Consider it the first step on the path to positive stress management. The changes won't happen overnight, but new tools to cope with stress are within your reach.